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Old age has many indignities thrust upon it, one of them being getting caught short in the middle of nowhere, needing urgently to take a crap with nary a public convenience in sight. What to do? That is the terrible question facing us when we cross 60 or sometimes even 50. Carry this emergency toilet roll for these unexpected and torturous occasions. All you need to do is to look for a place where you can crouch and take a long and satisfying crap. Of course, if you are in a lift on your way up to the 110th floor or in a bus riding down an industrial estate with not a toilet in sight that you can make it to in five seconds, then the only answer is prayer. For all other occasions this emergency toilet roll should stand you in good stead.